Unpacking Truths
Dive deep into God's word and unpack divine truths for today's life journey. In a world where everyone is seeking, join us as we guide you to find hope and power in God's timeless wisdom. If our discussions spark questions or ideas, reach out to us at UnpackingTruths@LOCChurch.com. Don't forget to Like, Share, and Subscribe, allowing us to continue helping people unpack God's truth for their lives! Hosted by Pastor Kendall Koenig and Pastor Maureen O'Connor of Light of Christ Church in Algonquin, IL.
Unpacking Truths
Blending Jewish Heritage with Christian Faith: Candi Neely's Journey
Ever wondered how one reconciles a Jewish heritage with a newfound Christian faith? Kandi Neely, a staff member at Light of Christ, shares her compelling journey of navigating faith within an interfaith family. Raised by a Polish Catholic father and a Jewish mother, Kandi experienced a unique blend of religious influences. As her father embraced Christianity, Kandi found herself intrigued by Jesus's unconditional love. Join our conversation as Kandi recounts the pivotal Easter Sunday service that led her to accept Christ, blending her Jewish heritage with her Christian beliefs.
We also discuss the broader themes of faith, identity, and inclusivity within the church. Kandi offers profound insights into the importance of welcoming everyone without asking them to sacrifice their identity. She bravely opens up about facing anti-Semitism and her complex feelings toward Martin Luther's legacy. With humor and warmth, we explore what "cheesy Christianity" really means and challenge listeners to reflect on their own spiritual practices. Don't miss this engaging discussion—like, share, and subscribe to connect with our community and grow in your faith journey.
#FaithJourney #InterfaithStories #JewishChristian #SpiritualIdentity #InclusiveChurch #EmbracingHeritage #ChristianityExplored #AntiSemitismAwareness #FaithAndIdentity #CheesyChristianity
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Well, welcome everyone to this next episode of Unpacking Truths and again have a guest with me who I'm just excited to be able to hear her story. I know some of it, but I'll probably learn some new things here today, as all of you will too. I'm Pastor Kendall.
Speaker 2:And I'm Pastor Mo.
Speaker 1:Welcome to Unpacking Truths, where we dive deep into God's timeless truths for our lives today.
Speaker 2:Grab your coffee. Open your hearts and your minds. Come take this journey with us, as we unpack God's truths.
Speaker 1:So with us is Kandi Neely, who is part of Light of Christ. She's on staff here at the church as well, working with our PATH, our middle school program, and coordinating that. And anyone who loves and works with middle school kids has to be an amazing person and a little bit of a screw loose. Just saying, and, candy, I think you qualified both of those.
Speaker 3:I would agree with you wholeheartedly on that. It's true.
Speaker 1:So, candy, we're here, though, not to talk about PATH and middle school, but to talk about the journey that God has taken you on in your life, and so this is your story. So I'm really just wanting to create a forum to be able for me to hear more of it, for others to be able to hear some of it, and then I'll interject with some questions, but why don't you tell me a little bit as you grew up as well? I'll let you tell your story.
Speaker 3:All right. Thank you, pastor Kendall. So my story starts with an interfaith marriage of my parents. My dad was Polish Catholic, my mom was raised Jewish and they had agreed when they got married that I would be raised Jewish because it was so important to my mom and family. So, fast forward, I'm about 10 months old and things don't work out. My parents separate and I am still to be raised Jewish, attend synagogue. I was very involved in my synagogue, temple High in Buffalo Grove. I grew up there. I was actually even in the Jewish show choir Shining Lights, which was- Of course you were.
Speaker 1:Of course you were I loved it.
Speaker 3:My mom was a choreographer. I was very involved and I would see my dad you know usual divorce situation every other weekend and he when I was about 10, became a born-again believer. So when I was there on Sundays he would bring me to church with him and I was so intrigued by the idea of Jesus. Having had such like a messy growing up family, this idea of someone who would love me unconditionally was this amazing idea. And I could just feel, when I was in church, jesus, I could feel the peace in his spirit.
Speaker 3:But I had been told growing up what does it mean to be Jewish? It means you don't believe in Jesus. It means he was a good man, not the son of God. It means he was a prophet, not the son of God. So I thought I've been Jewish my whole life. How do I go from here to here and love Jesus, the Jesus I'm experiencing at church with my dad, without losing this huge piece of who I am? And that was a struggle for a lot of years, I would say probably from when I was like 10 or 11, I actually started praying Jesus, if you're real, make this something I can be, because if you are real and you love me and you want me to be a Christ follower, make it so that I can be Jewish. It was like me, in a way, almost you're not supposed to test God, but I was 11.
Speaker 1:So a number of people in the Bible did that anyway, so you're in good company.
Speaker 3:A lot of people have done that, so I guess add Candace.
Speaker 1:Gideon put out the fleece and yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, add Candace Neely to the ranks of people who test God. So you know I spent high school, middle school kind of examining. I would pray. I especially would pray if something was wrong, like Jesus, if you're real, always kind of questioning. And it was hard because my mom and her family it was- very important to be Jewish. Understandably. Yes, we're a very tribal people, I think, especially when we think of some of the atrocities that have happened to the Jewish people. It wasn't all that long ago.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 3:And so you know my grandmother lived through seeing the pictures of camp survivors and there is a little bit this us like we have to protect the nucleus of the.
Speaker 3:Jewish people and you stay Jewish. So there was like the betrayal aspect for my mom, my grandma. I was so upset about upsetting anyone. I'm already in this messy divorced parent situation. And then there's my dad, who I'm seeing his life change and I'm. I remember they did a passion play at his church and I got to be in it and I got to be one of the weepers and by the end I was really crying, picturing Christ dying, and I knew I wanted to be a Christ follower. But how did I make it work? How do you take a fish and a duck and make them all live in one place? So I prayed and prayed, and prayed and prayed.
Speaker 3:And my senior year of high school, when I was with my dad, it was very much hey, this is what the family does, you're going to come with us to church. And so I went for Easter Sunday to his church and I again had been praying. How can this and this exist at the same time? And the sermon on Easter Sunday that year was all about how Christians and Jews are meant to live in harmony, how we're supposed to, as Christ followers. We're supposed to support Israel, support the chosen people, which is God's first people and we're meant to be one, and I felt like I was punched in the face by the Holy Spirit in the most loving way possible. But it was like a wow, like there's no denying this. So I accepted Christ right there, right there. And then I remember just sobbing and being like wow, god, this is real. Like this is all the years of questioning and not knowing Jesus is real. But then it turned into how can my two worlds coexist? And that was a little bit trickier.
Speaker 3:But I also got to examine, as more of a grown-up, what it actually meant to be Jewish. You know, I think that, while they were well-intentioned and well-meaning, but when my family explained to me what does it mean to be Jewish, you know, I think that while they were well-intentioned and well-meaning, but when my family explained to me what does it mean to be Jewish, it means you don't believe in Jesus, you don't do Christmas, you don't do Easter. That was just showing me how I was different than other religions. But the more I really examined Judaism, everything we do in Judaism is to honor the Lord the way you eat your food, the way you wash your hands, the way you cover your head, the way you prepare a meal, the way you take the Sabbath. It is not we're Jewish because we don't acknowledge Jesus. It is. We are Jewish because everything we do is in reverence of God. And so once I figured out that's really what Judaism is, once I figured out that's really what Judaism is, I could marry the two and say, okay, I can have this as my past but bring it into my future with Christ. It still sometimes feels a little tricky because not a family pushback kind of on me accepting Christ, but there are some family members that won't acknowledge that I'm still Jewish, which is hard because you're like, wait, I'm still a part of this team with you, I'm still a part of this club with you. I still kind of pledge allegiance to this but also to Christ, and so that has been messy.
Speaker 3:When my husband and I first got married, I think I went more the Christ follower route because I didn't know how to combine the two. We went to a church in Woodstock. It was a lovely place where I tried to become a Proverbs 31 mother and learn my scripture and raise my children right, but I didn't feel like I belonged, like I was always kind of the outsider. Nobody made me feel that way, but me, if anything, everyone was always really excited to have a token Jew in church. They're like we got one. She's here. This is amazing.
Speaker 3:So when we went to that smaller church in Woodstock, I think, I kind of put Judaism on a back burner because I couldn't figure out how to marry the two. And then, um, when I we went to our next church where we were at for like 10 years, I was able to experience more of Judaism. There we did a bunch of Bible studies that would celebrate all the festivals that Jesus did. I did one with Beth Moore specifically. That was all about the Feast of Tabernacles, which is in Judaism that's a holiday of Sukkot, the Sukkah that you go in, and it's thanking God for the harvest, thanking God for this new season of goodness.
Speaker 3:And as I'm reading about what Jesus gets to do, I'm like I grew up doing that. I got to walk with Jesus before I even knew I was walking with Jesus. It was like my heart had been prepared all of childhood by getting to live these holidays, these events, these prayers that were said by the Lord, that were lived by the Lord, and so that's why I mean even we joke about oh, the Jews are the chosen people. In a way, I'm like I was chosen to get to walk with Jesus through the Old Testament, in a way, because I got to experience everything God got to experience. And so when we left that second church, I felt the need to examine my roots a little bit more. And there's always been a grief for me that while my children, yes, are Jewish, and I have tried to preserve as much as I can for them, they don't have the culture or community, especially in our area. It's just, you know, I can't get good matzo ball soup around here or a good lab sandwich.
Speaker 3:I wouldn't know where to direct you yeah, Buffalo Grove, Illinois, my friends, that is where you should be going for all the good Jewish foods. But I wanted them to experience more of that. It's so much a part of their roots and I didn't want that to be lost. So we started attending, which was really really neat and an experience unlike anything I've ever done. We went to a Messianic synagogue, which is a synagogue for Jewish believers.
Speaker 1:Believers in Jesus.
Speaker 3:Believers in Jesus. Yes, believers in Jesus. Or.
Speaker 1:Believers in Jesus as the son of God.
Speaker 3:Exactly Not as a prophet or as a, you know, just a good man.
Speaker 1:Just wanting to clarify our terminology here, that's very good.
Speaker 3:So we actually would call ourselves completed Jews because we started in the Old Testament, where most people of Jewish faith stay, and we got to do the whole circle because we end in Revelation. So a lot of Jews who are believers in Christ will say we're completed Jews because we've kind of made the whole journey. So it was a lot of completed Jews because we've kind of made the whole journey. So it was a lot of completed Jews or Jewish believers in Christ. And it was amazing because I got to experience my childhood, my roots, my upbringing, what I loved growing up I loved synagogue, I loved the prayers, I loved everything. They were so calming, they were so comforting. I got to experience that with Jesus and we attended there for a year and it was amazing to get to be like, oh, I'm, I belong. There are 11 other people in the Chicago area that have the same belief system. But what was interesting was my husband. It was very eye-opening for my husband, joel, because we had been married about 15 years at that point and for that 15 years I had always been the Jewish believer who went to church and now my husband was the Christian who went to a messianic or a synagogue for Jewish believers and I think it was in a way shocking for him that he felt like such a duck out of water because he'd never experienced it. I mean, I would see him trying to follow along, you know, and do the prayers and do the things. And finally at one point I said, babe, just sit down, I'll tell you what to do next time. You know, because it is, it's something you grow up with and you know, and my children got to experience it, which was amazing. But I think it helped just in our marriage to understand. I realized how much I'd been feeling like an outsider going to that synagogue where my husband then realized how much he'd been an insider and that was a very eye-opening experience.
Speaker 3:And I think even in that I never before attending that synagogue I kind of never knew what to call myself. I never felt comfortable calling myself a Christian, not that it's a dirty word or it's a bad word, it just wasn't how I identified. But I also didn't feel like saying I was Jewish, honored the journey I was on with Christ. So I do like to now kind of having the language and being with this community for about a year at the synagogue, I now consider myself a Jewish believer. And so when people say, what are you? Are you Christian, are you Jewish? And I'll say, oh, I'm a Jewish believer. And so when people say, what are you? Are you Christian, are you Jewish? And I'll say, oh, I'm a Jewish believer, or I'm Jewish and I believe in Christ, or I'm faith-based in Christ, or something like that, because it's kind of hard to figure out, like not what team do I belong in, because we should all be working together, but there does feel like sometimes a differentiation in there.
Speaker 1:You know one of the things. Well, let me just say beautiful, powerful. Thanks for just opening your story, your journey with us, candy. I've sat down and heard some of it. I've sat down and heard some of it. It's just a story and a journey so much different than my own and I think it's just helpful to listen to other people's journey, you know. I mean, in some ways that's what Joel experienced going there. It's like hold it, I'm with people who all had a different journey and I don't fit in and we often tend to assume everyone's just like us.
Speaker 3:When you listen to other people's stories, it's just kind of humbling to go wow, there's a varied world out there and the Holy Spirit's worked in a whole lot of different ways 100%, and I think that's why I have such a heart for either the unchurched or the people who don't feel they belong in church, because I'm like no, no, no, we all belong here and you don't have to. Of course, we all want to change and be our best selves for Christ, but I'm still Jewish you know what I mean and so that has been refreshing to feel like I don't have to give up that piece of myself. I don't feel that God is calling me to give up that piece of myself. If anything, it makes my experience even richer, and even with working with the PATH students, I've been able to bring up things to them like anti-Semitism my favorite subject my wildly twisted relationship with Martin Luther.
Speaker 1:Yep, yep. Well, we wanted to go there.
Speaker 3:I was going to say you've heard a lot about that one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yep, yep, well, we wanted to go there. I was going to say you've heard a lot about that one. Yeah, well, and let's let me first go. Well, no, I'll come back to a phrase. Well, let's go there. Yeah, because you know, in the world today, you know, we often think, oh, we're past. Certain things Tragically, we aren't, things Tragically, we aren't. And you just shared with me and I don't know if you're comfortable sharing in this setting you know, some of the things that your kids have heard or experienced. Are you comfortable?
Speaker 3:sharing that Absolutely, I think. Unfortunately, anti-semitism is alive and well, even more so now than it was probably five years ago and my children? One reason I feel so empowered to be openly Jewish is my children need to know it is never something to be ashamed of, Because unfortunately, my middle schoolers have received a lot of things via Snapchat, social media. Heil Hitler, you should kill yourself. You should have been a part of the six million and, as a mom, you're so in a way. Being Jewish, growing up in a very Jewish area, I never experienced that, and so it is wild to me.
Speaker 3:But it also makes me think of others who have other races, other religions, who've lived that forever and my privilege in I've only had to deal with this for the last couple of years, you know, and it's like even this year. I was at Aldi, my favorite store, and they had blow up for your yard dreidels and menorahs and I, of course, packed my cart full of it. I was like equal opportunity, santa's going to be blowing out a menorah. And as I was at the checkout, it was this year, it was this past holiday.
Speaker 3:I put it all back and I didn't even feel comfortable having it up in my yard and that was yeah, it was a really um jarring feeling and you know, joel, I'm always miss emotional and so I called Joel.
Speaker 3:Really I know you would never guess that You'd never, guess that You'd never guess that, listeners, I am very even keeled and never emotional. I called Joel, you know, and said hey, am I being crazy by putting these back, like, and he goes no, I probably would have told you it wasn't a great idea. Just because we don't ever want a broken window or something written on our garage, and even though it might not happen, it's never something I want my children to experience. So sadly, I have to leave it at the store, put it in a box, but I won't do that when it comes to. I might do that for my house and for my holiday decorations, yeah, but I will not do it as who I am, as a person. I actually just went to New York recently and my mom was, like take off your chai. Chai, my Hebrew name is Chaya, so I've always worn a chai and it also means good luck and prosperity in Judaism. And my mom said take it off, I'm worried about someone saying or doing something.
Speaker 1:And I said I'm not taking it off.
Speaker 3:Let them do or say you know what I mean. At a certain point I have to be bold as a Christ follower and as a Jewish woman and draw a line. And with Martin Luther it's been a little bit of a journey. A little bit of a journey I know. You and I discussed last year when I had to do the lesson for my students on Martin Luther. It was hard. It was really hard to separate the man and the monster, because we all have that. We all are a man and a monster. We wouldn't need Christ if we weren't. And it was very hard to know. There were such amazing writings that came from a man. There were such amazing ways that he championed the poor, he tried to stop corruption in the church, but then there are writings that are so anti-Semitic that were used by the Nazi party as part of their propaganda. And again, how do you marry and reconcile the two worlds? I wish I had an answer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Well, I mean, I think the only way you know, as a Lutheran pastor to reconcile that is to just say Luther was wrong when he said this stuff. He had, he, his, his, his thinking was twisted, he gave over to the dark side, he fell into sin. Whatever you want to say, that anti-Semitism that was especially a part of his later writings we need to just repudiate, which is what the Lutheran Church has done, but we need to continue to name and do that so that we can claim the goodness of the insight and the wisdom and the reclaiming of the gospel, while also saying he did that right and he did that part utterly wrong 100%, and I think the reason I feel so comfortable going to a Lutheran church, especially this Lutheran church, is I think that's exactly what you guys do.
Speaker 3:You guys say, hey, there are some amazing works, there are some amazing things Martin Luther did for the kingdom of God, and then there are things that were not ordained by God, that were darkness and number one. For me it's a reminder no matter how good I think I'm doing or how deep my relationship is with God, there will always be hate in me that I have to surrender to Christ every day or it will get the best of me as well. I will start hating a certain group, a certain people, and so if I'm not willing to surrender that and there are some days it's really hard to surrender that, especially if someone has been driving poorly, took too long in the drive-through. There are reasons that I don't want to give that up, but I also. It really made me when I had to write that lesson about Luther. One thing it made me do was get off my moral high horse a little bit and look at number one where do I fall short literally all the time? I'm sure I like sinned walking into the room here. Do I fall short literally all the time. I'm sure I like sinned walking into the room here, who knows Like it's wild.
Speaker 3:But also, every patriarch in the Bible is horribly flawed. They're either an adulterer they had more than one wife and they lied, or they got drunk, or they my favorite one is always Moses. He never listens, just like me. He never listens. He never listens Just like me, he never listens. Every patriarch has this juxtaposition, which makes me wonder, makes me curious, if we have to have these flawed leaders so that we can only look to Christ. If we didn't have men fall short of the glory of God, what would the glory of God be? It would be cheap grace. So Martin Luther to me is a painful reminder in some ways that we are all flawed. We all have hate in us that can get ugly, that can be the opposite of what the Lord wants from us, and most of our founding fathers, patriarchs, all had flaws to them, and so we keep the good and we acknowledge the bad and try and learn from it. And that's kind of. I probably won't ever have like a Martin Luther statue at my house.
Speaker 1:That's fine, that's just fine.
Speaker 3:And the one here broke. It wasn't me.
Speaker 3:It was an accident, but I am trying to. I think that the thing that I'm seeing all over, all over our country social media, politically, religiously is we villainize and make the other person not a human anymore, and if I do that with Martin Luther, I am no better than anyone else. So I have tried to humanize him too, in my own way, and go okay, you weren't a monster, you were a man who gave way to hate, gave way to sin, gave way to darkness. I don't want to be that. I want to be, you know, the good, the God-ordained side, and surrender the other side to Jesus.
Speaker 1:Powerful. You know, as you were talking, all saying all of that Candy, and so eloquently, by the way, so powerfully I just thought of the classic phrase that Martin Luther said. He goes that we are both saint and sinner at the same time, and he is a brilliant example of that and you've put it out in front of us and reminded us of that and it is true for all of us. We are both saint, redeemed sinner, by the blood of Christ, by his grace, by God's grace and what Jesus accomplished on the cross. And we are still sinners. We don't ever go to perfection on this side of eternity and we are all broken vessels. And the importance of confession, of just continuing to acknowledge our own brokenness, so that we don't get on our high horses and judge everyone else for what they're all doing wrong, because then we're all that log and spec stuff.
Speaker 3:I was just about to quote it so you'd be impressed with me, but you did it yourself.
Speaker 1:Well, you go say it, you go say it.
Speaker 3:Now I don't even remember. I got too nervous. It's a log in my eye, I'm taking the spec out of yours. See, I screwed up. No, you got.
Speaker 1:It Shouldn't be teaching these middle schoolers.
Speaker 1:You're exactly right, you know the other thing and sort of coming to the end of our time.
Speaker 1:One of the things I wanted to say earlier that again is, ironically, Candy, a part of your journey, which was part of Luther's theology and all of this dynamic that we've been talking about. One of the things he often talked about a paradoxical theology, and that it is both and and that as human beings, we often like to do either or and part of what, to me, is so powerful about your story is the both and that you are saying how I have fallen in love with Jesus and who he is for me, and I'm Jewish, and for so long you were wrestling with I have to be either, or, and what your heart was telling you is no, I need to be both and and. To me, there is so much in life that, as human beings, we love to create either ors, when I think God often puts weird things together both, and he puts parts together that we hold separate but that need to come together, and it's a beautiful way that I just get to witness you putting that together in your life.
Speaker 3:Thank you, pastor Kendall. Actually, I was just on the mission trip with the kids and I have spent the last year kind of praying about. I have a very bold personality and sometimes, as women, we think what we should be is what we've been told. Proverbs 31, women are. I should rise early with a song in my heart instead of being like get up, get on the bus. Instead of being like get up, get on the bus, your mother loves you. But even that, two things can exist. I can be bold, I can be a woman of God, like the women in the Bible that he asked to be bold while loving my family, while being sacrificial, while being the mother, wife, friend, christ follower God asked me to be. But I think there's so many places in our world where both can exist. I can be bold and I can be someone not to be messed with.
Speaker 3:You guys have already seen that at staff meetings, I'm sure you have, but I can also love and be compassionate and soft when God calls me to, and so it's a really I love. When you said both things can exist, because I think that is my story 100% Both can and do Love it.
Speaker 1:Candy, thanks so much for being a part of this episode of Unpacking Truths, and come back again and submit your questions, or, if you think there are stories that should be heard, let us know about those too. We love to share things that we think can help unpack God's truth for today.
Speaker 2:Next time on Unpacking Truths. It was thought that when a priest right would pray over the animal or whatever, the sins of the community would go into the animal and then they would sacrifice it. So all the primitive parts of self, all the sins that everyone had done in the community, dies right there with the animal and so and then we get to start new right. That's the forgiveness and clean slate.
Speaker 1:And that can be done in two ways. That can be done in an authentic, heartbroken kind of way, or it can be done in a cavalier kind of way, like well, I got to go through this, so then I can keep doing. You know the joke that I always say with my Bible study the, you know the, the cheesy Christianity. You know, I I like to sin, god likes to forgive, so it's a great arrangement you know and and and that's what the sacrificial system had become.
Speaker 2:Thanks for joining us on this episode of unpacking truths. If anything that we discussed sparked any ideas or you have any questions, we would love for you to go to unpackingtruthscom, or you can also email us at unpackingtruths at locchurchcom.
Speaker 1:And don't forget to like, share or subscribe to the podcast, because you doing that allows other people to connect to this content and grow with God as well.
Speaker 2:Until next time, we hope you know that you are loved.
