Unpacking Truths
Dive deep into God's word and unpack divine truths for today's life journey. In a world where everyone is seeking, join us as we guide you to find hope and power in God's timeless wisdom. If our discussions spark questions or ideas, reach out to us at UnpackingTruths@LOCChurch.com. Don't forget to Like, Share, and Subscribe, allowing us to continue helping people unpack God's truth for their lives! Hosted by Pastor Kendall Koenig and Pastor Maureen O'Connor of Light of Christ Church in Algonquin, IL.
Unpacking Truths
Finding Your Worth
What if you could transform your self-worth and find peace amidst professional challenges? This week on "Unpacking Truths," we're thrilled to be joined by Joy Mitchell, who shares her powerful journey of advocating for herself and establishing boundaries in the face of stereotypes. Joy's experiences shed light on how respecting oneself and maintaining healthy boundaries become crucial, especially with the guidance of strong female role models like her mother. Through faith and prayer, Joy illustrates how boldness and courage emerge to affirm one's worth.
Ever wondered how negative self-talk can impact your creative and professional life? We dive into the harsh realities of comparing ourselves to others, particularly in the context of photography. By reflecting on scripture and the belief that each person is crafted with divine purpose, we reveal how to reframe our mindset towards self-worth. Learn the importance of celebrating others' successes and the detrimental effects of negative speech, and discover how intentional positive self-affirmation can nurture and sustain a sense of self-worth.
Join us as we navigate the internal struggle of questioning our talents and passions, such as art and singing, and the role of faith in overcoming self-doubt. Joy and our hosts emphasize recognizing and overcoming the lies that cloud our perception of worth, and how prayer and imagination can help maintain a positive mindset. We invite you to share your experiences and tools that helped you discover your worth in Christ, fostering a supportive community. Remember, you are loved, and we're here to walk this journey with you.
Help share this podcast with others, so they can experience the freedom of God's truth, and we unpack it together! Like, share, subscribe or visit unpackingtruths.com for more info!
Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe for more Unpacking Truths!
🎙️ Listen to Unpacking Truths on your favorite platforms:
✝️ Connect with Unpacking Truths:
- UnpackingTruths.com
- UnpackingTruths@locchurch.com
😃 Connect with Unpacking Truths on Social Media:
Hey, pastor Mo here and we are excited to invite back my incredible sister in Christ, because you guys liked her so much, joy Mitchell. She is not only an amazing woman, she is an artist, a photographer. Raised on the south side of Chicago, the youngest of five by a single mom right Shout out to single moms whoop, whoop. And today we are going. Oh, she's a mother too and a wife. Very incredible, just does it all right. And she works in higher education as well and guides the lives of college students. So, yeah, you do a good job, girl. You do a good job, the God working through you. It's all about God working through you.
Speaker 2:I'm Pastor Kendall.
Speaker 1:And I'm Pastor Mo.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Unpacking Truths, where we dive deep into God's timeless truths for our lives today.
Speaker 1:Grab your coffee, open your hearts and your minds. Come take this journey with us as we unpack God's truths. So today we're going to be talking about a topic that is near and dear to my heart. I think it's something men, women, all different ages, we all work through, and it's finding our worth, and so often we find our worth in things that are not as God had intended right. So, whether it's from outside sources of, like, social media, culture, different things like that, family even, and so growing up. Well, first off, let us define. How do you define self-worth?
Speaker 3:How do I define it? Well, I think for me, it's a positive view of how you see yourself. I think it's also connected to your values and what you allow to enter into your space or how you allow people to treat you. I live by the rule of thumb of you have to teach people how to treat you.
Speaker 1:Speak into that a little bit.
Speaker 3:So I think if you allow people to dump on you or to disrespect you, that is how they will treat you. And because I value myself, I'm like no, that's not what's happening today. So I try to really challenge myself, to like challenge people or situations when I feel like I'm being disrespected or not valued or not considered, and so, for me, all of those pieces like being valued, being considered, being respected, being included are important to me for what self-worth is.
Speaker 1:Okay, when I think I love that, when I think of worth, I kind of think of the ability to be free, right, like freedom in Christ, absolute freedom. I am so secure, I am unapologetically me and kind of having being so differentiated from people, meaning that, like, what they do and say doesn't affect me at the core of who I am right. So, like Jesus does it perfectly, and I think he's an incredible model for it and I aspire to be like him. I do not hit that all the time, but I love what you said, how you want people to treat you a certain way, so you kind of guard that and you, how do you use your faith, though, if someone is maybe coming at you in an aggressive manner, or how do you stand in your worth? What does that look like? Lived out?
Speaker 3:I think, for me, of course, starting with prayer, because it's not always easy to be bold and courageous, and so I pray, I try to pray that God, you know, gives me that opportunity, give me the opportunities where I have to, you know, practice those skills. You pray to practice those skills.
Speaker 1:I mean. What I mean by that is like— I'm like, keep those people away from me, god.
Speaker 3:Because I feel like God gives—when you pray for certain things, I feel like God will give you the opportunity to rise to the occasion. So I think sometimes, even if it's uncomfortable, I'll try to challenge myself to do that. So even if it's uncomfortable or weird, because I think healthy boundaries are important too, right yeah, and if I value who God created in myself, then I shouldn't allow just any type of treatment towards myself.
Speaker 1:Well, where did that come from for you?
Speaker 3:towards myself. Well, where did that come from for you, that sense of worth? I think for me, just especially like with growing up in my career, having experiences where I did not speak up, where I was concerned about even being like the angry black girl because, that's a stereotype where if you speak up or if you are assertive, you're angry. You know and I think I had, especially in my career I had to grapple with that a lot because I would get you know you're not flowery enough in your language Flowery yeah.
Speaker 1:I didn't see any flower.
Speaker 3:I didn't hear any flowers in your language At all Like yeah, like flowery, okay, or you know just well, you know you have an attitude. I'm like I don't have an attitude, I'm fine. I'm just telling you how I feel. So I think I've had to like, just, I got to a point, I just got tired of it.
Speaker 3:You know, and that's just an example, but just getting tired of allowing, you know, people or situations to rule me and I'm walking away upset or I'm overthinking and I'm, you know, just doing too much. And so I think that has now especially getting older, because I think there's something about just as you get older, like I'm in my later thirties, and I think just as you get older and more experienced, you stop caring about certain things. You're like I'm not accepting Is that wisdom or we're just tired.
Speaker 1:I think it's a mixture of both.
Speaker 3:I think it's a mix of both, because I feel like I can address it in a professional way, yeah, and then I sleep at night and I'm peaceful because I'm not just allowing anything.
Speaker 1:Right yeah, what are some experiences that you believe have really fostered your sense of self?
Speaker 3:I think some of my experiences, I would say, is having other strong women to follow after.
Speaker 1:Was your mom a strong woman she was.
Speaker 3:Okay, god rest her soul. You know, I watched my mom. My mom was a survivor, so I will watch her, um, and I would say, do you think?
Speaker 1:your mom carried self-worth Like she. She demonstrated that.
Speaker 3:I think my mom um, it's complicated my mom definitely had low self-esteem for various reasons.
Speaker 3:I don't think my mom grew up in a space where the conversation and even me I didn't really grow up necessarily in a space to see like this is the example of self-confidence and all of those things.
Speaker 3:I think the way I process, I can watch and know what I do or don't want, and so I'll try to lean into that when I have my own experiences. Like for me, my mom didn't necessarily talk a lot about beauty standards and stuff like that. I think I saw that a lot more with my sister and I think I just kind of developed it in that and I've always been drawn to strong women. I think, starting with my mom, she taught me how to take care of myself and how to survive in a lot of ways, but that was her experience and I think as I've gotten older too, just understanding my mom poured from what she had and then, in the spaces that she didn't, I feel like God gave me other women and opportunities to kind of learn and even going to college, like you just get a different view of the world and experiences and then you learn more and then you realize. Okay, this is what I like, or this is what the standard is for me.
Speaker 1:Or I like how that woman or man, like how they carried themselves or the confidence they had.
Speaker 3:Yep, okay, one of my really good best friends. I would kind of watch her. I watch people so like just certain things that she would talk about.
Speaker 1:You're a photographer.
Speaker 3:Yes, you watch people I do, and so just kind of listening and hearing about different things. I would want to learn more and just experience different things and challenge myself to have experiences that I've not had or learn information that I've not looked at before. Also, being an artsy person, I think that kind of played into like even just things that I wanted to do for me, like trying different things. So what like?
Speaker 1:equaled worth in maybe your family, even just things that I wanted to do for me, like trying different things.
Speaker 3:So what like equaled worth in maybe your family, I think it was more so in my family. I think a lot of the worth piece came with again the survival piece.
Speaker 1:Okay, so like, if you're strong, independent, a survivor, taking care of business, you know, taking care of your responsibilities.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and education was also important too. Okay, my mom was the only one of her sisters to go to college. Wow, so I wasn't first gen, so I got. You know, I watched my mom and then my sister went to school.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And then I decided to go to school.
Speaker 1:So seeing, that that too was important. She modeled that then for you.
Speaker 3:She did, and then I went away. My mom, of course she was in community college. My sister went to community college. I went away. I wanted to get out of the house.
Speaker 1:Yeah, You're like I need to get.
Speaker 3:I went away.
Speaker 1:Get far away.
Speaker 3:Yes, my dad did not. My dad worked as a bus driver CTA bus driver for like 30 years. Worked as a bus driver CTA bus driver for like 30 years. So he definitely was. I have a bit of both with my parents. Just that hard work is definitely something that's value and I think sometimes I'll do that to a fault and I have to, I realized I don't I've not stopped and smelled the roses as much as I should have.
Speaker 3:I think I was so hell-bent on you know, get your degree be done in four years, which I did. I went to school year-round because I was like I got to graduate in four years and just really focusing on all of these accomplishments but not enjoying the fruits of my labor and the opportunities that God gave me, I wasn't taking the time. Like it was a lot of people in college. They would go you know places during like spring break and stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, oh, I'm going to take this time off.
Speaker 3:I'm going to go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I was working. I'm going to go experience this. I will say this with my daughters my oldest one, she does that. She's like, oh, I think I'm going to take, you know, do any internships? I'm going to go travel Europe and backpack with her and my brain is like, what are you doing? Like who has time for leisure? Like this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's time to work Right, but that's because worth right came from working really hard and the more you produced in my family, that's how of worth you were, and the irony is not produced for you but produced to give it to me. I don't know if that's your family too.
Speaker 3:No, but my family was more. So I kind of felt like it was almost like a marriage, because growing up so with my siblings, I have two on my father's side, two on my mother's side. So growing up in my I grew up with my mom. So the way our dynamic worked, when I was able to work we all contributed to the house. So to me it felt more like a marriage, Like we would put our money towards the bills, or I was assigned certain bills that I paid, and so it just, you know it made me grow up quicker, but I think it helped me to value like a hard work ethic. But I also had to figure out a way to kind of to pull away some of the toxic pieces of that, because it came from a place of fear.
Speaker 1:How has God helped you do that Like? How do you feel God has interplayed in that?
Speaker 3:I think for me kind of going back to like realizing the spaces where there was a fear. So fear of being poor, because we were Right and I kind of had this duality, because my dad was blue collar, worked hard. I would go to his house on the weekends but at home we had, we were on food stamps and we worked and you know. So, living in that environment it kind of created a fear. Even now, sometimes I'm like money. Did you feel a?
Speaker 1:low because I remember when I was on public aid right and so with my daughters and even before you know I had kids my mom was, because when my dad left she really left destitute, and so it was so embarrassing going into the grocery store and seeing somebody from my high school behind that check. You know, it was before self-scanner time and I was like so my worth right came from maybe how much money you had or you know, or this idea of not wanting to, and I just remember feeling really low self worth when I was on that during that time, when I was young.
Speaker 1:Did you feel that at all? I didn't, and I guess just the way it didn't, did you feel that?
Speaker 3:at all. I didn't, and I guess just the way it didn't feel like we were poor, like I didn't know necessarily that we were poor because, again, my mom would survive, so she would take $20 and get groceries and of course everything was cheaper but we would have our full meals and things of that nature. So I think I didn't feel that way.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, I had the link card, so I had like food stamps, so I had to take them out.
Speaker 3:I wish I could get a link card.
Speaker 1:I had to take it out in front of the kid and I was like, oh man, here's my EBT card. Like you know, and for yeah, if I had 20 bucks. So that was the embarrassing part yeah, yeah. Right yeah, no.
Speaker 1:I think I guess it was just that's what I knew, so it didn't feel like you know, like I wanted to hide it per se, right, and I, for me, I found that, like, finding my worth, even in that, is having to reframe, like you know. What does God say about who I am? Yeah, right, and whether you know, whether we have money or not, or we're on, what is it inside of me that feels uncomfortable with taking out this food stamp card? Yeah, and why do I think it defines me, and so that was something I had to wrestle with and really go back to scripture to be reminded of who I was, and so that was like a defining factor for me for, like, worth. What have you found have been some areas where you'll feel yourself struggling with self-worth.
Speaker 3:I think for me. So, like I said, I do photography right and I think every time I'm about to do like a gig, I in my mind, I'm like these pictures aren't going to be as good as such and such as or because I'm self-taught yeah. Um, and I think so. It's like that, that voice, that negative voice, and it always comes. Yeah, and it's like that, that voice, that negative voice, and it always comes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it's like for me choosing to if I'm going to lean into it and listen to that or if I'm going to combat that and fight against it, and I feel like the way to I choose to fight against it and I think, the way to also combat that is to speak a word.
Speaker 3:So I'm like, I think, even with like, looking at scripture about, like self-worth. I feel like, at least in what I viewed, there's a lot of scripture that talks about confidence or being strong, being courageous. You know, coming against fear. I think in reading scripture there's more examples and opportunities where it's really at least in the revelation that I got from it that is speaking to your self-worth. So like, if I know like God created me, you know from the womb, like clearly with intention and purpose, because God doesn't do anything that doesn't have purpose, surely I have to value that because for God to craft me, that is a beautiful thing, that's divine, that's a miracle. So if I start there with self-worth, that helps me to again kind of reframing my mind and how I view myself.
Speaker 1:Do you think that sometimes we look at things like from a mindset of scarcity, sometimes we look at things like from a mindset of scarcity and that's like I can't appreciate this other person's work because if I do, it somehow takes away from my work or my photography or my preaching as a preacher, like I can't oh you know, cause it's so easy to compare. And I think that's how the tempter gets us to compare ourselves when God, I think, wants us to find joy in their preaching, or joy in like look at how awesome you are, god, and how abundant you know, how much abundance you have just to pour on of us of creativity or a word, or like that's, I think, god's lens. And then I and I find the tempter so good at it, right, getting us to question ourselves or doubt ourselves.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I agree, and I think for me it's looking at things from a deficit and that has been that's one of my struggles. Um, I think my husband helps a lot with the balance of seeing the glass half full versus half empty and I don't know why.
Speaker 3:like, I can definitely be more of a pessimist or complain about things, and my mom was similar, and so I have to again that reframing, relearning how I talk about things, because you know you're planting seeds when you do that, and so I'm like, if my words have life, I think the way God showed it to me was like every time I speak something negative and I've already been like all right, god, I've prayed for this and all of that and then I speak something negative, I'm literally ripping out those things from the root. Like that will sustain me in a positive way. So you envision yourself doing that? Yeah, like, and it's like I'm completely, totally diminishing and combating all of the, all of the, the work that I've done, all the positive seeds that I've planted, because I'm just spewing negativity or not being mindful of what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:So, as you like, envision those things growing, you envision yourself also ripping them out.
Speaker 3:Like in a bad. I mean like the positive things, yeah. So having to figure out and having to be mindful of when I need to be quiet or just like praying, that God deals with how I view me. Yeah, because again, like it's I don't know what it is about where I will question, like the things that I do, like I love art, I love singing, I love singing, I love painting, but there's something that'll be like it's not good enough and I'm like what is that?
Speaker 1:Have you been able to figure out? What is that? I'm still on that journey. Have you asked God? What is it inside of me? I have, I have.
Speaker 3:That is, I have, and I think I think a part of it is. I think you know there is greatness and destiny that I'm connected to and I think the enemy is, you know, going to work hard to try to stifle that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Especially when it plays on that pessimistic side of who I can be sometimes. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I love that you're speaking in how we're all uniquely made God's masterpiece, and it's so true Like each of us created with intentionality to be a part of what God is doing, which is to build the kingdom here on earth right. One day it's going to be here on earth and we've all been placed here a strategic time with certain gifts and different identities, right to be lived out to bring to fruition God's kingdom, and so we are all so needed. And so I love that you talk about not looking at things or being intentional, about trying not to look at things from scarcity, but that there's more than enough. Like we have a God of abundance that loves to lavish his children, especially when we're living into our identity. Lavish us with anything we need move mountains, split seas, make miracles happen, raise from the dead. Like anything. We need to live that out because it glorifies God right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:And I feel like God wouldn't have crafted me with talents and gifts and just ideas if it wasn't meant to be used here. So I'm like I'm mindful that you know the enemy will try to stifle that, even if it's just with a thought, because if he has me there, the work is done, he doesn't have to do anything else.
Speaker 3:If I'm walking it out in that mindset, it's just easy. So I think I try to be more intentional to paying attention, because it always shows up the same way. I mean because he's not creative, so it's always if I pay attention. I always pray that God gives me strategy to pay attention to those things, because it always shows up the same way every time. It's never different. So I'm like I have to be mindful of when this is not real, this fear, you know that's that's not real. So pushing past that, and that's where my faith comes in, because I have to, you know, see what I don't see.
Speaker 1:Right, absolutely Like God, give me your eyes to see things as you see, and you know. Right, absolutely Like God, give me your eyes to see things as you see, and you know it's interesting. I think back of the psychology of evil, which is there's always a truth with a lie on top of it. Right, and so that's kind of how Satan tempted Jesus, like if you are the son of God, getting him to question things. Right, using scripture to get him to question is this, should I be doing this?
Speaker 3:Should I use it? I have been given power. Should I be turning this stone into bread? So how?
Speaker 1:Satan takes something that's truth like you created something, you took a picture, you did something you're a mom right Truth and then puts a lie on top of it, and I think that's why it gets so confusing for us. But I love that's why it gets so confusing for us. But I love that you envision yourself stopping and ripping out any of those thoughts that aren't good for you, or being careful what you plant out in the world through your words. Right, because we're creators and I love the scripture keep our minds focused on Christ and God will keep you in peace. Right, and our minds is actually a Hebrew word that means or I'm sorry, a Greek word that means imagination.
Speaker 1:So we're supposed to be using our imagination, as you do, to almost envision God taking away things that aren't true or planting in us things that we need to live into, who we are to live into, our worth, right? I mean, this is what it's about. We're doing this together as God's children, right? We would love to hear from you. What has your experience been? Where have you found worth, for good or for bad? How has that affected you in your life, for good or for bad? How has that affected you in your life. What are some tools or gifts that you've used, whether it's scripture or music or whatever? We'd love to hear that let's help each other as we move through this journey and unpack God's truth within, discovering our worth in Christ.
Speaker 4:Next time on Unpacking Truths, that they can struggle and get through hard things, and so, whether it's our well-intended, you know going in and trying to fight a battle for them, or protecting them by not allowing them to do things that seem a little bit risky, you know they all come from a really good place in us and on the surface it is protective, but what we're now learning, and to that point like it's taken a decade or two to look back and say, okay, now we can see that this is not it's protecting, that maybe they're not getting as many broken arms at the park, or that you know they're, you know they're. You know that we feel more secure, that we know they got to their friend's house. You know in one piece, but it's not.
Speaker 1:It's not letting them feel like they can handle hard things. Thanks for joining us on this episode of Unpacking Truths. If anything that we discussed sparked any ideas or you have any questions, we would love for you to go to unpackingtruthscom, or you can also email us at unpackingtruths at locchurchcom.
Speaker 2:And don't forget to like, share or subscribe to the podcast, because you doing that allows other people to connect to this content and grow with God as well.
Speaker 1:Until next time, we hope you know that you are loved.
